Epic Television Fail: Part 2

It seems that annoying product promotion comes in trends:

#1 Self complementing product names

Darn Good Coffee – I was corrected at Einstein Bro’s a couple days ago that I couldn’t actually just say, “I’ll have a medium coffee.” They apparently didn’t offer that kind of caffeinated beverage.

Cold Stone – There’s just something desperate and gluttonous about saying, “could I have a GOTTA HAVE IT cake batter with two mix ins please?”

#2 Making seemingly inanimate objects magically appear in your life.

This is the money you could be saving with Geico

The Quaker Oats quaker – wherever he is, he’s always got snacks for you.

Last night was amazing. Have a breakfast sandwich.

#3 Making traditional images of long-loved icons eerily animated.

Orville back from the dead, and still pop’n the fluffy corn.

He went from being good old grandpa/Santa Clause out of season to (literally) a cheerleader of fried chicken.

Sun Maid maid – strangely seductive in a  computer generated/pick grapes/ farm daughter/talk about the sunshine kinda way.

Or not.

#4 Food on steroids

Coke Zero – because the CEO’s still like mixing Coca Cola the old fashioned way.

“When you’re here, you’re family.” –  like real Italian… on idiot.

Not even actual Italians could tell the difference between homemade Italian and Pizza Hut’s new Tuscani pastas in the surprise camera captured taste test. This must have been right after the real Italian vs. Pizza Hut’s new Tijuana crack test.

This one doesn’t even make sense.

And it’s just a little creepy that she’s actually talking to us… from behind that red… circle hole… thing.

Where’s Dave when you need him.

And now for something totally different:

Yatta Yatta

just because we Japanese couldn’t possibly embarrass ourselves enough…